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The Concession Stand

Every great screening needs provisions. Props from the masterpieces, discs for the permanent collection, and everything a Screening Society requires for a proper movie night. Hand-selected by our distinguished staff, who have no formal training whatsoever.

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The Distinguished Critic’s Gift Guide is openPresents inspired by the worst movies ever made. Wrapped in irony.
The Room poster

MASTERPIECE OF THE MONTH

This month we honor the film that redefined human conversation. Everything required for a proper screening, in one place.

  • “Anything for my princess.”

    A Red Dress for Your Loved One

    Present it the way Johnny did: with total sincerity and no follow-up questions. Your princess deserves nothing less.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Anything for my princess

  • “You’re tearing me apart, Lisa!”

    Stress Relief Ball Set

    For the moments when life tears you apart. Squeeze firmly. Screaming optional, but historically accurate.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Hold it together

  • “Oh, hi Mark.”

    A Funny “Oh Hi” Welcome Mat

    Greet every guest with the warmth and casual timing of a man who just denied everything on a rooftop.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Oh, hi guests

  • The Disaster Artist

    Greg Sestero and Tom Bissell on the extraordinary undertaking that became The Room.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

AS SEEN IN THE MASTERPIECES

The Prop Department

Faithful tributes to the moments that changed cinema, or at least confused it. Display them proudly. Explain them to guests at length.

The Room

  • “Anything for my princess.”

    A Red Dress for Your Loved One

    Present it the way Johnny did: with total sincerity and no follow-up questions. Your princess deserves nothing less.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Anything for my princess

  • “You’re tearing me apart, Lisa!”

    Stress Relief Ball Set

    For the moments when life tears you apart. Squeeze firmly. Screaming optional, but historically accurate.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Hold it together

  • “Oh, hi Mark.”

    A Funny “Oh Hi” Welcome Mat

    Greet every guest with the warmth and casual timing of a man who just denied everything on a rooftop.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Oh, hi guests

  • “You’re my favorite customer.”

    A Bouquet of Red Roses

    Walk in, order a dozen, greet the dog, leave. The most efficient romantic gesture in cinema history.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Hi, doggy

  • “Tuxedos. Footballs. Real men.”

    Tuxedo T-Shirt

    Recreate the alley football scene in full formalwear. Stand four feet apart. Never explain why.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Toss it like Johnny

Showgirls

  • “Olympic-level conviction.”

    Professional Spinning Dance Pole

    Own your own pole and out-dance Nomi Malone by this afternoon. Portable, professional-grade fitness equipment for the dedicated performer. Medal not included; the judges never give her one either.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Begin your training

  • “Finally, homework worth doing.”

    Showgirls Activity Book

    A real activity book devoted entirely to Showgirls. Puzzles, games, and coloring for the scholar who has seen it more times than is medically advisable. The perfect gag gift.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Start studying

  • “It’s Versayce.”

    A Sequined Party Dress

    Pronounce the designer however you like. Wear it with the confidence of a woman who has never once been corrected.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    It’s pronounced Versayce

  • “I used to like Doggie Chow too.”

    Gourmet Dog Treats

    The snack that brought two showgirls together. For your dog. We assume.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Share a moment

  • “The pool scene, but responsibly.”

    Glam Gold Pool Float

    Recreate the most athletic swim in movie history with significantly less splashing.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Make a splash

Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance

  • “Badge. Gun. Katana.”

    Tanjiro Costume Katana with Scabbard

    Every detective needs a sidearm. This one is officially licensed, 31 inches, plastic, and safe for the living room. The badge is up to you.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Honor the code

  • “Blend into the shadows. Loudly.”

    Adult Black Ninja Costume

    Hood, mask, gloves, and the quiet confidence of a man about to lose a sword fight to a detective with magnificent hair. Perfect for screenings, Halloween, and sneaking into the kitchen.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Join the clan

  • “Magnificent hair, available separately.”

    Black Ponytail Samurai Wig

    The star famously wore a wig in the reshoots. Now you can too. Tie it up for the sword fight, let it down for the love scene, and never, ever explain the change.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Become magnificent

Samurai Cop

  • “Peak physical fitness.”

    Adjustable Dumbbell Set

    A samurai cop does not simply happen. It takes iron, dedication, and at least one tank top.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Start the training montage

Troll 2

  • “Oh my God!”

    Goblin Mask

    Hand it to a guest during the screening. Their reaction will be more convincing than anything in the film.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Visit Nilbog

  • “The double-decker bologna sandwich.”

    Giant Sandwich Plush Pillow

    All the hospitality of a forbidden snack, none of the consequences. Do not let grandpa see.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Make it a double-decker

The Wicker Man

  • “Not the bees!”

    Gourmet Honey Gift Set

    Everything sweet about bees, with none of the screaming. A thoughtful present for the Nicolas Cage devotee.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Bring on the bees

  • “A bold costume choice.”

    Bear Costume

    Nicolas Cage once wore one while doing something we cannot describe on a family website. Wear yours to the screening.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Suit up

Road House

  • “Pain don’t hurt.”

    Deluxe First Aid Kit

    Philosophically, pain does not hurt. Practically, you’ll want bandages.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Be nice

The Master of Disguise

  • “Turtle! Turtle!”

    Turtle Costume

    The disguise that solved the case. Nobody suspects the turtle.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Go undercover

Sharknado

  • “Forecast: sharks.”

    Shark Umbrella

    For when the weather report says rain and the movie says otherwise.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Check the forecast

  • “Every dog needs a fin.”

    Shark Costume for Dogs

    Weather may vary. Your dog will be prepared regardless.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Unleash the fin

Tammy and the T-Rex

  • “Love finds a way.”

    Inflatable T-Rex Costume

    The romantic lead every Tammy deserves. Fully inflatable. Emotionally unavailable.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find your T-Rex

Birdemic: Shock and Terror

  • “Grab the coat hangers.”

    Wire Coat Hangers

    Standard-issue avian defense equipment, as seen in the film’s bird attacks. Also hangs coats.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Defend the coast

  • “Fight birds with birds.”

    Owl Decoy

    Deterrence for the next eagle invasion. Explodes on impact in your imagination only.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Hold the perimeter

Plan 9 from Outer Space

  • “Future events will affect you in the future.”

    Flying Saucer Model

    Hang it from a clearly visible string for full period accuracy.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Prepare for the future

Hard Ticket to Hawaii

  • “Handle with extreme caution.”

    A Frisbee

    Fans of the film know this is the most dangerous object in Hawaii. Throw it gently. Very gently.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Throw responsibly

Robot Monster

  • “Gorilla suit + diving helmet = alien.”

    Gorilla Costume

    Add a diving helmet and you have recreated a 1953 invasion from space with total accuracy.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Conquer Earth

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

  • “Even Mars needs Christmas.”

    Alien Antenna Headbands

    Martian holiday attire for the whole family. Pairs well with a Santa hat and a confused expression.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Save Christmas

Toxic Avenger

  • “Cleaning up the town. Literally.”

    A Heavy-Duty Mop

    The weapon of choice for New Jersey’s most hygienic superhero. Tutu sold separately.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Clean up the town

Zardoz

  • “Behold, the floating head.”

    Giant Stone Head Planter

    A garden tribute to the most majestic floating head in science fiction. Does not float. Does not judge.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Worship the head

Cats

  • “Digital fur technology not included.”

    Cat Ears Headband

    Join the Jellicle ball without the visual effects budget.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Become a Jellicle

Maximum Overdrive

  • “The machines are watching.”

    Remote Control Monster Truck

    Keep the controller close. In this household, the truck answers to you.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Stay in control

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

  • “Cocoon-grade cotton candy.”

    Cotton Candy Machine

    Delicious when spun at home. Considerably less so when spun by visitors from space.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Spin responsibly

Miami Connection

  • “Friends for eternity.”

    Keytar

    Taekwondo is half the lifestyle. The synth solo is the other half.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Join Dragon Sound

Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo

  • “Save the community center.”

    Retro Boombox Speaker

    Bluetooth on the inside, 1984 on the outside.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Boogaloo

Jaws: The Revenge

  • “This time it’s personal.”

    Giant Shark Plush

    A shark that holds a grudge across several states. Fortunately, this one is very soft.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Make it personal

Howard the Duck

  • “A duck of distinction.”

    Giant Rubber Duck

    A dignified tribute to cinema’s most complicated waterfowl.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Get quacking

Battlefield Earth

  • “Learn to fly a fighter jet in a week.”

    Flight Simulator Joystick

    Cavemen mastered Harrier jets in seven days using flight simulators. You have a whole weekend.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Begin flight school

  • “Every shot, tilted.”

    Laser Level

    The cinematographer tilted nearly every shot in the film. Make sure your home décor does not suffer the same fate.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Straighten things out

Ben & Arthur

  • “Written, directed, produced, scored, and starring.”

    Director’s Chair

    For the auteur who refuses to let anyone else do anything. One chair is all you need.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Take your seat

  • “Take one. Only one.”

    Movie Clapperboard

    Mark every scene of your own masterpiece. Second takes are for the uncommitted.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Roll camera

Cool as Ice

  • “Drop that zero and get with the hero.”

    Retro ’90s Color Block Windbreaker

    Loud enough to be heard over a motorcycle engine. Tells everyone a hero has arrived in town.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Get with the hero

  • “Small town. Big jump.”

    Retro Motorcycle Helmet

    For dramatic entrances and leaping over things that did not need to be leapt over.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Ride into town

Deadly Prey

  • “Survival gear: one pair of cutoffs.”

    Short Running Shorts

    The hero survived an entire mercenary army in these. Your morning jog will be easy.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Start running

  • “Become one with the woods.”

    Camouflage Face Paint Kit

    Hide from mercenaries, relatives, and anyone asking you to help them move.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Disappear

Double Down

  • “Saving the world from a desert campsite.”

    Portable Solar Panel Charger

    Every elite agent conducting world-changing missions from the desert needs a reliable power source.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Power the mission

  • “A Neil Breen essential.”

    Laptop Cooling Pad

    Neil Breen’s heroes depend on laptops. Keep yours cool under the pressure of saving humanity.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Prepare for hacking

Eegah

  • “Prehistoric, and proud of it.”

    Caveman Costume

    Live in the desert. Fall in love with a teenager’s girlfriend. Get an unforgettable shave.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Go prehistoric

  • “The most famous shave in cinema.”

    Beard Trimmer

    Recreate the legendary desert grooming scene in the comfort of your bathroom.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Get groomed

Fatal Deviation

  • “Ireland’s first martial arts epic.”

    Foam Practice Nunchucks

    Train like a returning hero without denting the furniture.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Train for the tournament

  • “Fight hard. Rest properly.”

    Irish Breakfast Tea Gift Set

    Every martial artist needs a recovery ritual. This one is very Irish.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Put the kettle on

Fateful Findings

  • “A mystical object changes everything.”

    Mystical Crystal Set

    Unlock supernatural abilities, or at least decorate a shelf with conviction.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Unlock your powers

  • “Hack the planet. Expose the conspiracy.”

    Mechanical Keyboard

    For typing world-changing exposés at a dramatic pace.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Start hacking

From Justin to Kelly

  • “Spring break, but make it a musical.”

    Karaoke Machine

    Some people bring sunscreen to the beach. Visionaries bring choreography and a sound system.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Start the duet

  • “Synchronized leisure.”

    Waterproof Beach Speaker

    For spontaneous musical numbers at the water’s edge.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Hit the beach

Gigli

  • “Gobble gobble.”

    Turkey Hat

    The most quoted line in the film, now in wearable form. Perfect for Thanksgiving dinner.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    It’s turkey time

Glitter

  • “Exactly what it says.”

    Craft Glitter Set

    Bring the title to life. You will be finding it for years. That is the point.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Add sparkle

  • “Every career move deserves a power ballad.”

    Wireless Karaoke Microphone

    Hit the high notes in the kitchen. Nightclub lighting not included.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find your voice

Gymkata

  • “Gymnastics. Karate. Diplomacy.”

    Folding Balance Beam

    Practice the dismount that saves the free world. Village pommel horse not included.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Stick the landing

Hobgoblins

  • “The legendary rake fight.”

    Garden Rake

    A humble garden tool that became one of cinema’s most unforgettable weapons. Please use it on leaves.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Prepare for battle

  • “Careful what you wish for.”

    Goblin Plush Toy

    Small, fuzzy, and capable of making your fantasies dangerously real.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Release the goblins

I Am Here.... Now

  • “Examining the moral state of humanity.”

    Illuminated Desk Globe

    For judging the planet from the comfort of your desk, as a mysterious being would.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Examine humanity

Jack and Jill

  • “An Oscar winner’s most important coffee commercial.”

    Mini Donut Maker

    Make the snack that defined Al Pacino’s finest hour, at home.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Make it Dunkaccino-level

  • “Double the Sandler.”

    Matching Sibling T-Shirts

    For family visits that last longer than anyone planned.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Embrace the twin

Laserblast

  • “Found it in the desert. Kept it.”

    Toy Space Laser Blaster

    A harmless light-and-sound blaster for the teenager in all of us who would absolutely have picked it up.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Power up

Mac and Me

  • “A friend from very far away.”

    Alien Plush

    Big eyes, small body, enormous dependence on soda and candy.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Adopt an alien

  • “The official snack of interstellar travelers.”

    Skittles Party Size Bag

    The candy the little aliens can’t get enough of. Neither can you.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Feed the aliens

Manos: The Hands of Fate

  • “The Master would not approve.”

    Hooded Ritual Robe Costume

    For leading a mysterious lodge, or wandering the house at 2 a.m.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Join the lodge

  • “For Torgo.”

    Knee Pads

    Torgo walked a great deal and complained about none of it. You deserve support.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Support Torgo

R.O.T.O.R.

  • “Judge, jury, and moustache.”

    Police-Style Aviator Sunglasses

    The official eyewear of rogue robotic law enforcement.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Enforce the law

  • “Every robot needs a moustache.”

    Fake Moustache Set

    Become an experimental police cyborg in under ten seconds.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Become R.O.T.O.R.

Space Mutiny

  • “Interstellar ambience.”

    Galaxy Star Projector

    Turn the living room into the bridge of a starship that definitely has a mutiny problem.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Engage

Super Mario Bros.

  • “Brooklyn’s finest plumbers.”

    Plumbing Tool Kit

    The official entry requirement for interdimensional heroism.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Enter the pipe

  • “Dress for the job you want.”

    Plumber Costume Overalls

    Red cap optional. A mustache is strongly encouraged.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Suit up

The Adventures of Pluto Nash

  • “Nightlife, on the Moon.”

    Moon Lamp

    Bring a lunar nightclub atmosphere home without a $100 million budget.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Open the club

  • “The party never stops. The box office did.”

    Disco Ball Party Light

    Instant nightclub. No lunar real estate required.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Start the party

The Amazing Bulk

  • “A brand-new superhero. Definitely new.”

    Purple Face and Body Paint

    Become a completely original purple hero with no resemblance to anyone else.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Transform

  • “Results may vary.”

    Protein Powder

    For transformations that take longer than one scene.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Get bulk

The Apple

  • “Temptation, sliced.”

    Apple Slicer

    The forbidden fruit of a futuristic disco empire, in eight convenient wedges.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Take a bite

The Barbarians

  • “Twin warriors. One haircut.”

    Barbarian Warrior Costume

    Fur, leather, and the confidence of two bodybuilders who are also brothers.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Raid the village

The Beast of Yucca Flats

  • “The desert is not your friend.”

    Desert Survival Kit

    Atomic monsters wander out there. Bring water. Bring a whistle. Bring this.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Survive the flats

The Brain That Wouldn't Die

  • “She’s still talking.”

    Mannequin Head

    Display your hats, your wigs, or your most ambitious medical ideas.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Keep her company

  • “Science, without supervision.”

    Chemistry Lab Kit

    For the surgeon-in-training with big plans and no ethics board.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Begin experiments

The Creeping Terror

  • “The monster that looks like a carpet.”

    Shag Area Rug

    Famous for an alien that resembled a rug. This rug is famous for resembling an alien.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Unleash the terror

The Fanatic

  • “Respect the front gate.”

    Autograph Book

    Collect signatures the polite way: by asking nicely, at public events.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Ask nicely

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie

  • “Collect them all. Unfortunately.”

    Garbage Pail Kids Trading Cards

    The cards that inspired the film. Considerably less upsetting.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Open a pack

The Giant Claw

  • “A threat from the sky.”

    Giant Bird Plush

    Recreate the film’s majestic special effect, with comparable realism.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Look up

The Hottie & the Nottie

  • “Love is a team assignment.”

    Couples Trivia Game

    Find out how well you know each other before anyone negotiates a friendship agreement.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Play matchmaker

The Ice Pirates

  • “The most valuable treasure in the galaxy.”

    Premium Water Filter Pitcher

    Space pirates fought for water. You just need to fill this at the sink.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Claim the treasure

The Incredible Melting Man

  • “Melting, gradually.”

    Candle Making Kit

    Watch something melt slowly for ninety minutes. Smells much better than the film.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Start melting

The Last Vampire on Earth

  • “Cheap plastic fangs, worn with total commitment.”

    Vampire Fangs

    Nicolas Cage proved that budget fangs can carry an entire performance. Your turn.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Get bitten

Vampire's Kiss

  • “Yes, he really ate it.”

    Edible Insect Snack Pack

    Honor the most method-acted snack in cinema history. Crunchy. Protein-rich. Upsetting.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Commit to the role

The Love Guru

  • “Enlightenment, on ice.”

    Hockey Stick

    Spiritual counseling meets professional hockey, as the ancients intended.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find your center

  • “Inner peace, outer absurdity.”

    Meditation Cushion

    Sit. Breathe. Do not do any of what happens in the film.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find enlightenment

The Pumaman

  • “Arms forward. Green screen behind.”

    Superhero Cape

    Fly exactly like Pumaman: straight ahead, very slowly, in front of a clearly visible background.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Take flight

  • “An ancient mask of great power.”

    Golden Aztec Mask

    Mind-control capabilities not included. Wall-hanging capabilities included.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Harness the power

The Roller Blade Seven

  • “A warrior on wheels.”

    Inline Skates

    Journey through any surreal wasteland, or the cul-de-sac, with the commitment of a skating samurai.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Roll out

The Roommate

  • “Boundaries, reinforced.”

    Door Security Bar

    The housing office needs a better questionnaire. In the meantime, there is this.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Set boundaries

The Star Wars Holiday Special

  • “Happy Life Day.”

    Ugly Holiday Sweater

    The official attire of a holiday celebration nobody was supposed to see again.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Celebrate Life Day

  • “The family waits for his return.”

    Chewbacca Plush

    A fuzzy reminder of the holiday special that the galaxy tried very hard to forget.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Bring him home

The Swarm

  • “Killer bees. All of them.”

    Beekeeper Suit

    An all-star cast fought the bees. You can at least dress appropriately.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Face the swarm

Things

  • “A nightmarish ordeal.”

    Fake Blood Kit

    Recreate the film’s homemade special effects with equally homemade enthusiasm.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Get gory

Troll

  • “A magical creature moves in.”

    Retro Troll Dolls

    Smaller, friendlier, and much less likely to transform your apartment into a forest.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Welcome a neighbor

  • “Your apartment, enchanted.”

    Mushroom Fairy Terrarium

    The building turns into an enchanted forest in the film. This is the safe, tabletop version.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Grow the forest

Twisted Pair

  • “One Neil Breen was not enough.”

    Matching Hoodies Set

    Twin brothers, unusual powers, dramatically different paths. Identical outfits.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Double up

Young Rebels

  • “From the director of Samurai Cop.”

    Retro Action Hero Sunglasses

    Two men, one cartel, and the eyewear required to take it down.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Join the rebels

FOR THE PERMANENT RECORD

Own the Masterpieces

Streaming services come and go. A disc on the shelf is forever, and it starts conversations your guests did not ask to have.

  • The Room on Blu-ray

    The definitive way to experience the definitive film. Watch it once for the story, twice for the football.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • Samurai Cop on Blu-ray

    Restored so every strand of that hair can be appreciated as intended.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • Troll 2 on Blu-ray

    Bring the film home. Lock the door. Check the sandwiches.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • Miami Connection Collector’s Edition

    Dragon Sound deserves a place of honor on the shelf.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • Showgirls on 4K / Blu-ray

    Every sequin, in more detail than science thought possible.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • Plan 9 from Outer Space on Blu-ray

    Ed Wood’s vision, presented with all its strings attached.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • Best Worst Movie (Documentary)

    The cast of Troll 2 discovers the world has been celebrating them. Required viewing.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • The Disaster Artist (Film)

    Hollywood made a movie about the making of The Room. The circle is complete.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

MAKE IT AN EVENT

The Movie Night Kit

Everything a Screening Society needs except good judgment, which, frankly, would only get in the way.

  • Theater-Style Popcorn Machine

    The cart, the kettle, the smell. Your living room becomes a premiere.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • Popcorn Seasoning Variety Pack

    Flavors as bold as the filmmaking.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • Classic Striped Popcorn Boxes

    Red and white, as cinema demands.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • Movie Theater Candy Box Assortment

    Concession-stand classics without the concession-stand markup.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • Bingo Daubers

    Mark your Movie Night Bingo card with the authority of a professional.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • Oversized Throw Blanket

    For hiding behind during the scary parts and the confusing parts, which are often the same parts.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • LED Backlight Strip

    Purple-and-gold mood lighting for that premiere-night feeling.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • Outdoor Projector Screen

    Backyard screenings: because the neighbors deserve culture too.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

THE SCREENING ROOM

For the Home Cinema Connoisseur

A masterpiece deserves the full experience. Tommy Wiseau’s face was never meant to be seen on a phone.

  • 65-Inch 4K TV

    A masterpiece deserves 65 inches. Every questionable decision in glorious 4K.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • Home Movie Projector

    Turn any wall into a premiere. Turn any premiere into an event.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • Soundbar

    Hear every line exactly as it was delivered. You have been warned.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • 4K Streaming Stick

    Small device, enormous library of questionable greatness.

    See today’s price on Amazon

    Find it on Amazon

  • Home Theater Recliner

    Cupholders. Reclining. The seat a Distinguished Critic has earned.

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REQUIRED READING

The Scholar’s Shelf

Serious scholarship on serious cinema. Footnotes not included, but strongly implied.

  • The Disaster Artist

    Greg Sestero and Tom Bissell on the extraordinary undertaking that became The Room.

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  • My Year of Flops by Nathan Rabin

    A critic revisits Hollywood’s most famous failures with real affection.

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  • Nightmare of Ecstasy: The Life and Art of Edward D. Wood Jr.

    The oral history of the auteur behind Plan 9. Essential scholarship.

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  • The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Amazing Colossal Episode Guide

    A field guide from the professionals of affectionate heckling.

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WATCH FROM THE COUCH

Where to Stream

Trials and channels for the critic on the go. Check each movie’s listing, since what is included changes often.

  • Amazon Prime 30-Day Trial

    Eligible new members can try Prime free for 30 days, including movies and shows included with Prime Video. Renews automatically unless canceled.

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  • Audible Free Trial

    Listen to The Disaster Artist on the way to the next screening. Eligibility and terms set by Amazon.

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  • Kindle Unlimited

    Unlimited reading for the scholar who has finished the required reading. Eligibility and terms set by Amazon.

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  • Prime Video Channels

    Add-on channels like Shudder carry many cult favorites. Extra subscription costs apply.

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FOR THE CRITIC WHO HAS EVERYTHING EXCEPT TASTE

The Distinguished Critic’s Gift Guide

Every present on one page, sorted for easy gifting. Share it with anyone who has ever said “you have to see this movie.”

Open the Gift Guide

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